Don't hate the playa....


The Game, Neil Strauss

When I first heard about PUA, (Pick Up Artists), I put my ignorance down to leading a fairly sheltered life. I am generally suspicious of anything that appears to be a fad, or any attempt to create a little club that panders to their need to be Part Of Something.

For the uninitiated there is an entire movement of men, (mostly in the US), who dedicate far too much of their time in the pursuit of getting laid. That’s pretty much it. They employ psychological tools in order to pick up just about any girl they please, regardless of looks or the girl’s status. It involves using tools such as misdirection, emotional and physical manipulation.

Neil Strauss, The Game
Neil Strauss shows how The Game works
Whenever I see a guy hitting on a girl in an arrogant manner I realize that the PUA movement can only work if the man is sexually dysfunctional , (never had a girlfriend, boundary issues or anger issues towards the opposite sex), and the object of their affections is an attention-seeking emotional shipwreck.

One tool the PUA uses is in itself an admission that without it they would fail to impress anyone. By making the girl feel bad about herself, or at least self-conscious, (‘negging’), she apparently will be more attracted to them due to perceiving them as hard-to-get . One example is waiting for her to speak and then offering a breath mint, or turning your back on her as she speaks.
Russell Brand & Katie Perry
Russell Brand 'negged' Katy Perry one to many times 
I have some good news for all men: if you’re ‘lucky’ enough to be chatting up a girl who is either on the rebound or is easily won over by the cocky overtures of a wannabe Alpha male, then there is a good chance you will need nothing more than a few shots of dutch courage and a working condom machine.

For all other women – you know,those ones with a double-whammy of intelligence and self-respect – you will find that no amount of ‘negging’, will work. You may get their number, but it might equally be the number of a sex therapist who can help you identify the roots of your fear of creating meaningful, mutual connections without becoming a control freak.
That’s all PUAs are.

Control freaks who have pitched themselves head-first into the world of trophy sex as if there is a literal battle of sexes going on and they are some kind of rebel army created to ensure that men, no matter how deficient their personalities, get some action.

Ryan Gosling & Steve Carell, Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Steve does not look impressed!
As an exercise in psychology, or as the kind of party trick that Derren Brown might use, (if it weren't for the fact that he is a confident, emotionally secure man), it is at best amusing.
But as a lifestyle choice for men who see it as way to impress their secret society buddies and inflate their flattened egos it’s a tad grubby.
Be a man without the safety net of PUA manipulations or be a SLB, (Scared Little Boy), but be yourself. You won’t bed 500 different women in one year, but the ones you meet will actually like you. You may even end up liking yourself too.

By Steve Gray. 

He don't need 'game'! 

The happily married & socially proficient Mr Gray!

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