That Ol’ Devil Called Love….

….AKA Valentine’s Day, or V-Day as it’s sometimes known by women, not just men. 

The fact that a day created to symbolize love can sound more like a memorial for war veterans gives you some idea of the mixed blessings the day attracts.

''To me you are perfect ' scene from Love Actually

Contrary to popular belief men do like a bit of romance. They also like to feel that any act of ardour is not going to be scoffed at just because they are blokes. They also like to feel they have a choice in the matter. V-Day is not a day where either of these things are possible so you can see why some men start inventing dying friends and siblings with birthdays when it comes around. V-day has also become synonymous with women-only gifts and there are still a lot of women out there who resist any attempts to ask them to ‘show the love’ in return.

It depends on the girl. It depends on the relationship. 

The average bloke really doesn't fancy going all Casanova for a woman who habitually insists that her man awards her with the finer things in life on a daily basis and offers nothing in return. 

'That's what you bought me???... Next!!!

Men in healthy relationships involving give and take are very capable of giving their woman what they need because they feel motivated to do so. It’s that simple. 

But even then we can’t help but feel a degree of performance anxiety. We all want to hit the spot. We all want to be the subject of conversation the next day amongst girls we’re not allowed to meet because our partner is talking about that AMAZING thing we did the other night. And if you do manage something amazing how do you top it the following year? I wouldn't be surprised if some men have proposed marriage just so they can sleep at night knowing they've pulled off another cracking V-Day stunt.

Tiffany Engagement Rings, St Valentine's Day

Men love romance as long as they are allowed to be part of it too. There will always be men who are chronically inept at maintaining that feel-good factor in a relationship, (ditto, women), but they are in the minority. For the majority - as long as he is not expected to build the Taj Mahal in his woman’s honour he will always do something. Besides, what is romantic to one person is perverse to somebody else. That guy who built the Taj Mahal for his love interest then filled it with a harem, so there you go. Clueless.

by romantic man of the year - Steve Gray